Hurry! Hurry! Once in a lifetime offer... Look and Find! Buy before it's gone!
second-hand letters
we have a large supply of refurbished letters in most popular fonts and sizes. please search bins.
for instance, take home a chrome encrusted "e" to give additional highlights to your paragraphs, or perhaps choose a "y" with a saucy curl to imply a special mood. There are hundreds of innovative ways to spark up your text.
slightly used phrases
we boast of the largest collection of used phrases found anywhere. just because something has been used before doesn't mean you can't reuse it. we make it easy for you by offering a large catalogue of used phrases, annotated with frequency counts and focus group evaluations.
rare words
new technology has allowed us to mass produce rare words at affordable prices. don't break your train of thought looking for rare words, consult our comprehensive list. for instance "vitriolic" is often overlooked, and since we are in the v's, how about "vituperate." see how easy it is? would you have thought of them on your own? not likely.
stuffing
as authors, we often find a crying need to round out the plot line by judicious use of stuffing to offset citical points and to soften the impact of carefully orchestrated climax events. all research confirms that readers require periodic neutral time to survive the next critical episode. we have safe, cost-effective ways to pad your prose. learn safely to avoid the dangers and pitfalls of rapid cycling of the emotional content and/or subtext. consult our easy-to-use guide on how to use stuffing effectively. we also have a large selection of stuffing materials to choose from.
worn-in cliches
contrary to popular literary opinion, cliches are highly useful literary elements not to be ignored. they communicate ideas, paint a descriptive picture and outfit a character with instant attributes that are immediately recognizable by the public's consentual awareness without having to invest inordinate amount of effort to construct unique, time consuming characteristics.
recycled plot lines
sadly authors often encounter dry spells when the creative juices are not flowing with requisite efficacy. let us help you if you find yourself stuck in such a rut, with recyled plot elements that can be easily melded into your story line with little or no alteration. we guarantee a seamless fit with our plot enhancing modules.
motivational aids
from time to time we all have need of a boost to our motivation. falling behind on your project? find an easy solution here, choose from our many motivational products to infuse fresh energy into your effort. all aids are certified goal oriented, user friendly and demographically neutral.
fail safes
from time to time we all encounter obstacles that lead to traumatic termination of a project. such undesirable abandonment can lead to frustration overload, emotional collapse or meltdown, and pervasive self blame. let us show you how to minimize undesirable consequences. we have flowcharts to show how termination can be safely accomplished in ways guaranteed not to incur emotional and psychological damage and blow-back. we know that authors have vulnerable, fragile egos that are prone to self-recrimination and castigation. protect your psyche: subscribe to our fail safe bailouts. let us be your parachute to normalcy.
handling critism
it is absolutely essential for authors to safely survive public scrutiny and feedback. how often have you been ambushed by unexpected negative comments, whether in casual conversation or through "professional" appraisals? Have critical reviews and editorial feedback destroyed your peace of mind and will to write? no longer! we have ways around having to resort to pharmaceuticals. try, for instance, our rose-coloured glasses to filter such unsolicited feedbacks or protect yourself with our patented kevlar second-skin layering against all the slings and arrows of outrageous criticism. the point is, you need not suffer, you should not suffer. insist on the best armour of invulnerability.
prices are as marked at deep, factory reduced deductions. all sales are final.
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